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Thread: Streats: No man is right for picky women

  1. #141
    Senior Member denniskee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by denizenx
    after the "finding", must make sure there is effort to "maintain".
    like a camera system, buy liao put on shelf sure grow moldy or have mechanical failure.
    This is for sure the way to go.

    But what is worrying is :

    (They want the assurance that they can lead the best life that they want).

    (may want to marry because they want the assurance that they have someone (their own family) to fall back onto when everything else around them fails).

    So couple the 2 statments together, what do you get? "bye bye" when all fails and you fails. As the saying goes, "big problems befallen, fly seperate ways.
    photography makes one sees things from all angles.

  2. #142

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    finding "the one" is a lot like photography.

    being selective is a good thing, this will ensure that you end up with keepers instead of weepers.

    however, being realistic is equally important. set achievable goals and you will not be frustrated by chasing the impossible dream.

    finally, the passion must be constantly re-ignited and re-discovered for the relationship to grow and to develop into bliss.

    you can buy better gear but you can't buy a better eye

  3. #143

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    I think we are in danger of making generalizations here. Eg Girls want taller guys, the guy got to be super rich to get a gal, etc. These are stereotypes which are simply mental constructions for our conveniences. That's how we have racism and terrorism.

    It will be good if the married people in CS could share their experiences. From my experince, I can already tell you I know a lady who is taller than the man but both have no weird feelings about it; my simple-looking colleagues: the man has a Ph.D and his wife has only A levels, some 3 years older than him, and they have a cute 7-yr old daughter... whole family is so happily married. Another one is a female with Ph.D, her husband is a JC teacher with only a B.S. (Hons) degree. No car, both love adventure and traveling. And yes, also very happily married. And the list goes on. Whether we know people like that personally or not, we have at least heard of their stories.

    Another female colleague of mine downright rejected a young man (maybe early 30's) who is wealthy enough he doesn't need to work! He owns enough properties to generate income for himself. And he promised her good life. Sorry brother!

    But I feel it is not wrong to say if you have the looks (pleasing to the eyes of the lady at least) and money, the game is to your advantage. Afterall first impression counts. But it is not the end yet. What comes next to hit the final nail is your personality and how you treat the gal: are you sincere, loving, etc. What I find offensive is people who deny they want good-looking partners (when clearly they do) and say as long as heart is good can already. Duh. So diplomatic.

    Love is a very complex subject indeed because it involves human psychology. The successful relationship between two people is the sum total of so many factors, of which looks and money are just 2 aspects. How else do you explain divorces. People won't marry if they have the premonition the marriage won't work. It is along the way that things change, opinions fluctuate. So many factors. (Analogy: We buy and sell photo equipment!)

    I've always felt the best way to appreciate someone is to understand her/him and this takes time. Communication is the key. That's why I don't believe in SDU or matchmaking... not that they don't work but they are like gambling. Cos most are working adults and the first often used criteria that attracts a person to another is their looks!

    For those who are still young and say you want your partner to be 1..., 2..., 3..., 4...., 5...., 6..., beware: you might just find yourself ending up with someone to the contrary! Or sadly... remain single (due to so many criteria!) as I know of a handful.

    So at the end of the day, I think we should just put aside the sterotypes. They are bound to exist consciously or subconsciously, but the important thing is to know whatever happens to our future depends on our decision to take action.

    As my favorite Mariah Carrey song Hero says: "There's a hero... if you look inside yourself..." (Analogy: Just like in photography, we can talk and talk about equipment, which is better, etc and don't go out to shoot.) So let's not just talk and talk about only good looks or money as criteria in relationships. Let's not be overwhelmed by the fairy tale pictures the media has painted for us.

    Unleash the hero within you.
    Last edited by kiwi2; 15th November 2004 at 08:21 PM.

  4. #144

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    Those guys who have met me before should know how "tall" I am.
    And YES, ladies do mind alot if they are taller than their partners. But depending on various factors such as their character, family background, communication, education level, location etc etc, just endless to list out, they might dispose that height factor further down the road.

    I never attempt to list out my criterion for partners etc...I would simply answer a "see how it goes" whenever anyone asks me that.

    Endless debate over this issue. Ultimately, it's going to be the each different individual man/lady making his/her own choice. And yes, it is EACH DIFFERENT man/lady. You can name any scenario, and there's bound to be someone "satisfying" it.

    I'm better off to continue on my dreams and pursue. And get on with my life out there than worrying about this issue.

    So I wouldn't reply here anymore.

    P.S: Yes, I fall in the category "below 1.6m".

    "To pray for the rain, you have to be prepared for the mud"
    Last edited by meng; 15th November 2004 at 08:44 PM.

  5. #145
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    Friend, think long term here.

    If we tied down and signed the dotted line. the kids will come along. Cannot even managed a decent homecooked meal..... let alone look after the kid.

    well, like my sis -in law lor. Bro called me at 9.30pm asking how much water needed to cook rice for 1 pax. Well, he burned his....

    And please, dun tell me that our parents can help. Nowadays, the older folks liked to be retired, not relive their younger days of looking after the little ones again...

    And please, dun tell me to subcon it to the child care centre or the maids. If this is the case, than dun have kids lor.....rather buy a doggie instead.... and take the $$$ for the per-med, mertainity etc etc to buy a flashy sports car or go on an extended diving trip....



    Quote Originally Posted by Xaler
    Seems like your last relationship crashed pretty badly But frankly, drop the "able to cook" from the wish list. Perhaps this would be a valid point one generation ago... now, replace that with "mixing cocktails"

    Those who still can cook are from the neighbouring countries... including Vietnam & Cambodia

  6. #146
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    Well said.

    I couldn't put it better....



    Quote Originally Posted by reachme2003
    with bird flu, no chicken rice to eat.
    with SARs, no one comes out to eat.
    with no duck, no duck rice to eat.
    with no eggs, so many foods incomplete to eat.

    if one cannot cook and depend on those from neighbouring countries to cook. by natural occurrence of things, one day, we will 'starved to death'.

  7. #147

    Lightbulb

    thank you, thank you. although it sounded like rap and light-hearted, a serious message is intended.

  8. #148
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    See what we meant here.

    They will take whatever that is to their advantage.

    Like the Womens' charter - that should be valid only if women's role is to stay home and make babies, and man's role is to bring back the beacon.

    Then , they demanded to be treated equally on their paycheck

    Then, they demanded that we have to carry their heavy bags for them coz man are stronger (same arguement when it comes to paying for the meals.... you are ungentlemen if you don't pick up the tab)



    Quote Originally Posted by reachme2003
    i refer to denniskee's post above. i quote "ladies fighting for equal status as man''. i am waiting for the day when women lawyers from SAWL(Singapore Association of Women Lawyers) will move to repeal some provisions in the Women's Charter, eg. women entitled to maintenance from their ex-husband.

  9. #149

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    Quote Originally Posted by kiwi2
    I think we are in danger of making generalizations here. Eg Girls want taller guys, the guy got to be super rich to get a gal, etc. These are stereotypes which are simply mental constructions for our conveniences. That's how we have racism and terrorism.

    It will be good if the married people in CS could share their experiences. From my experince, I can already tell you I know a lady who is taller than the man but both have no weird feelings about it; my simple-looking colleagues: the man has a Ph.D and his wife has only A levels, some 3 years older than him, and they have a cute 7-yr old daughter... whole family is so happily married. Another one is a female with Ph.D, her husband is a JC teacher with only a B.S. (Hons) degree. No car, both love adventure and traveling. And yes, also very happily married. And the list goes on. Whether we know people like that personally or not, we have at least heard of their stories.

    Another female colleague of mine downright rejected a young man (maybe early 30's) who is wealthy enough he doesn't need to work! He owns enough properties to generate income for himself. And he promised her good life. Sorry brother!

    But I feel it is not wrong to say if you have the looks (pleasing to the eyes of the lady at least) and money, the game is to your advantage. Afterall first impression counts. But it is not the end yet. What comes next to hit the final nail is your personality and how you treat the gal: are you sincere, loving, etc.

    Love is a very complex subject indeed because it involves human psychology. The successful relationship between two people is the sum total of so many factors, of which looks and money are just 2 aspects. How else do you explain divorces. People won't marry if they have the premonition the marriage won't work. It is along the way that things change, opinions fluctuate. So many factors. (Analogy: We buy and sell photo equipment!)

    I've always felt the best way to appreciate someone is to understand her/him and this takes time. Communication is the key.
    bravo! i couldn't have said it better!

  10. #150
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    Nah, with photography , esp the digital ones, what you dun like press "delete" and it is at no cost to you.... ok lah, the few seconds of batteries power only lah....





    Quote Originally Posted by zaren
    finding "the one" is a lot like photography.

    being selective is a good thing, this will ensure that you end up with keepers instead of weepers.

    however, being realistic is equally important. set achievable goals and you will not be frustrated by chasing the impossible dream.

    finally, the passion must be constantly re-ignited and re-discovered for the relationship to grow and to develop into bliss.


  11. #151
    ClubSNAP Idol Adam Goi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kiwi2
    I think we are in danger of making generalizations here. Eg Girls want taller guys, the guy got to be super rich to get a gal, etc. These are stereotypes which are simply mental constructions for our conveniences. That's how we have racism and terrorism.

    It will be good if the married people in CS could share their experiences. From my experince, I can already tell you I know a lady who is taller than the man but both have no weird feelings about it; my simple-looking colleagues: the man has a Ph.D and his wife has only A levels, some 3 years older than him, and they have a cute 7-yr old daughter... whole family is so happily married. Another one is a female with Ph.D, her husband is a JC teacher with only a B.S. (Hons) degree. No car, both love adventure and traveling. And yes, also very happily married. And the list goes on. Whether we know people like that personally or not, we have at least heard of their stories.

    Another female colleague of mine downright rejected a young man (maybe early 30's) who is wealthy enough he doesn't need to work! He owns enough properties to generate income for himself. And he promised her good life. Sorry brother!

    But I feel it is not wrong to say if you have the looks (pleasing to the eyes of the lady at least) and money, the game is to your advantage. Afterall first impression counts. But it is not the end yet. What comes next to hit the final nail is your personality and how you treat the gal: are you sincere, loving, etc. What I find offensive is people who deny they want good-looking partners (when clearly they do) and say as long as heart is good can already. Duh. So diplomatic.

    Love is a very complex subject indeed because it involves human psychology. The successful relationship between two people is the sum total of so many factors, of which looks and money are just 2 aspects. How else do you explain divorces. People won't marry if they have the premonition the marriage won't work. It is along the way that things change, opinions fluctuate. So many factors. (Analogy: We buy and sell photo equipment!)

    I've always felt the best way to appreciate someone is to understand her/him and this takes time. Communication is the key. That's why I don't believe in SDU or matchmaking... not that they don't work but they are like gambling. Cos most are working adults and the first often used criteria that attracts a person to another is their looks!

    For those who are still young and say you want your partner to be 1..., 2..., 3..., 4...., 5...., 6..., beware: you might just find yourself ending up with someone to the contrary! Or sadly... remain single (due to so many criteria!) as I know of a handful.

    So at the end of the day, I think we should just put aside the sterotypes. They are bound to exist consciously or subconsciously, but the important thing is to know whatever happens to our future depends on our decision to take action.

    As my favorite Mariah Carrey song Hero says: "There's a hero... if you look inside yourself..." (Analogy: Just like in photography, we can talk and talk about equipment, which is better, etc and don't go out to shoot.) So let's not just talk and talk about only good looks or money as criteria in relationships. Let's not be overwhelmed by the fairy tale pictures the media has painted for us.

    Unleash the hero within you.

    Well said! This is by far one of the most useful constructive comment I've seen so far!

  12. #152

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    Quote Originally Posted by Lensman
    See what we meant here.

    They will take whatever that is to their advantage.

    Like the Womens' charter - that should be valid only if women's role is to stay home and make babies, and man's role is to bring back the beacon.

    Then , they demanded to be treated equally on their paycheck
    ...
    Okay, a bit of OT here but I believe the Women's Charter's only valid role is to protect women's right. No need to fight for equality, it's already been reached.

    Are women not allowed to work? Not allowed to drive? Not allowed to voice their opinions? Women nowadays should get rid of this crappy notion called women's rights, you ladies got it already... compare what your grandma can and cannot do during her time and the activities of ladies right now.

    So in modern day Singapore, women can choose what they want in a guy, so be it (even if most points are unattainable). A guy too can choose what he want in a girl, if a Cambodian/Vietnamese girl can cook and this is what the guy wants, ultimately he'll pick these foreign brides.

    All is fair in love and war.

    Back to topic. I agree with Kiwi2 that love is a complex thing. For those in love before will know "Love is Blind". Everyone can set standards and all, but when it comes right down to it, many many factors come into play. These women are just crapping/bitching, when they get close to their "use-by" date, I'll see if they still stand by their standards. They probably go into "Panic" mode and ditch all notions of a Prince Charming driving a White Mercedes.

    NB: I'll not post anymore on this thread. After centuries, the world's best minds cannot even define this complex thing called "Love", let alone me.

  13. #153
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    Hahahahaha....I am done for this topic also, it will be replaying old records,,,,

    have a nice week ahead...

    Quote Originally Posted by Xaler
    I'll not post anymore on this thread. After centuries, the world's best minds cannot even define this complex thing called "Love", let alone me.

  14. #154
    Senior Member afbug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by denniskee
    Don't they all say (They want the assurance that they can lead the best life that they want)? At least most of my lady freinds says.

    Yes you may say it suppose to be a joke, but ladies, search your soul and tell yourself the statement is meant to be a joke, like "man are pig"?

    Anyway, they always ends with tha statement like, "its womans right", right?

    Poor singapore man, on one hand, ladies are fighting for equal status as man (I support that move), but on other hand, they have this mentality. Stress, stress.

    So guys, I suppose we can fall back on our Cameras when all fails. Cause if the ladies have this kind of thinking, my guess is, "bye bye" to you, when all fails and you also fails.
    We, men, are caught in no man's land eh?

    Quote Originally Posted by Poledra
    And Mr. Bug, I may be a fruit, but I am a durian. I fall when I chose to fall. And you certainly cannot peel me.
    Durian!! You telling me you stink? If you fall, theres no need for me to peel you. Either i risk injury to break your fall or i just watch you split open after the impact

  15. #155
    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Another quote from Confucis:

    "Women pick men like picking durians,
    Men fall for women like falling durians."

    The End.

  16. #156

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    Thanks Adam and Ling Nightsky.

    It's really a reminder for myself also.... It's so easy sometimes for me to lose myself in arguments that simply exist because of the wrong reasons or false self-justification.

    Most of the time, it's fear or excuses that prevent us from taking action. So we put the blame on our lack of luck, lack of fortune, lack of looks, lack of...blah blah. Very convenient (but lazy!!!) cos we don't have to do anything -- just blame something else for our state!

    Interesting to note that many of the world's richest and successful often started in a wretched/disdavantaged state.
    Last edited by kiwi2; 17th November 2004 at 10:38 PM.

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